9 Things No One Told Me About Losing Weight

When I hit party dress season in December 2013, I noticed that some of my clothes were too tight. Well, I said to myself, you've invested a lot in your nice clothes. Better lose some weight. Like thousands of people around the world, I started in early January. Unlike most of those people, I actually succeeded. I dropped 20 pounds and four dress sizes, which is quite a lot on a 5'1" frame.

I guess this is the part where I share how I emerged a svelte butterfly from a cocoon made of sheer willpower. Honestly, I liked myself already. Here is a list of nine things no one told me about losing weight. No fitness evangelizing, promoting disordered eating, or fat-shaming allowed.

Makeup Case: Julep Welcome Box + Bonus Color

Before subscribing to a monthly expense, I like to do my research. Is fancy nail polish worth $25/month? (Julep also offers other boxes, but let's be real, my makeup collection is already outta control except for a severe nail polish shortage.) If you read the title of the post, then you've probably figured out my conclusion was yes. I maintain that you will enjoy my highly scientific means of arriving at this conclusion. TL;DR version of the method: buy a bottle of Julep polish, apply one coat with no base or top coat, and then beat the crap out of my nails.

Florence, 1 coat, Day 1.

In the midst of spending my life savings on MAC brushes, I threw in a bottle of Julep's Florence. It's an ecru shade that I thought would make a nice everyday shade: neutral enough for work, but an unusual color for nails. It applied quite thick for this out of practice nail polish wearer and I had to do some cleanup on my cuticles. Then I spent a good hour admiring my nails because I never paint them anymore. (Note: I think the next picture is a much more accurate representation of the color. Please excuse my minimal photography skills.)

Florence, 1 coat, Day 3.

This is the same hand after a few days. By this point, I had washed many dishes, done a few loads of laundry, worked out, and dusted my room. Chores become surprisingly fun when you are procrastinating lesson planning doing science. As you can see, there was little chipping. I decided that the Julep box was a worthy investment for me, queen of chipping even professional manicures within 24 hours.

Julep welcome box, from left to right: Libby, Teri, and Winter.

Today (look how timely this review is!), Julep's welcome box arrived. Libby is a deep turquoise. Teri is a peachy coral. Winter is a light dove gray.  The above photo serves as evidence that overhead fluorescent lighting is terrible for photography and humanity in general. Sorry my apartment is so dark, everybody.

1 coat of each color.

And here is what all three look like on my nails, this time photographed in natural light. Call me easy to please, but I loved them all. Teri is more appropriate a color for spring or summer, but the seasons cannot dictate my love for the color coral. Libby makes me wish I owned turquoise jewelry. Winter makes me feel as cool as Emma Frost. I refuse to apologize for the number of puns in the last sentence.

Final note: Let your polish set! Five minutes after photographing my nails, I went upstairs to hang up the clothes living on my floor and chipped poor Winter. Impatience kills manicures. Plenty of people already know this, but logic was never my strong suit.

If seeing this makes you want to subscribe to Julep, please use my referral link!

Albums I Have Loved: Sarah McLachlan, Surfacing

Long before "Angel" became the sad animal commercial song, I associated it with the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, along with every other song on Surfacing. "Full of Grace" was in the second season finale, after all. If you're wondering whether I saved Buffy computer wallpapers with Sarah McLachlan lyrics plastered on them in illegible cursive font, the answer is YES.

Before I get into the actual review, I'd like to note that this CD is one I straight up filched from my dad, which will be a recurring theme in this blog feature. Music taste starts at home and with petty theft.

Makeup Case: Face

My makeup regime for my face is not all that intense. Because my skin is naturally dry, I've never had to cover up more than the occasional blemish. Though I don't wear it often enough, my sunscreen of choice is "anything that works." I'll go into what moisturizers and cleansers I use in my bath products review. Here is everything else!

Unity: The Introduction

Nothing seems all that strange about Unity, Connecticut. The winters are cold and lingering; the summers hot and humid. Unity was a thriving town until the factory shut down a few decades ago. Now descendants of factory workers mingle with an ever growing immigrant population. The rich and upper middle class live somewhere else. Ideas travel slowly, despite the town's relative proximity to New York City. Locals run conservative and focus on the ordinary.

"Ordinary" takes on a different meaning here. Sometimes new stores appear downtown, only to vanish a few days later. The howls coming from the woods sound nothing like coyotes. People avoid the library because the librarians interpret "knowledge is power" a little too literally. The mayor is both the youngest and the oldest in the state's history.

Unity doesn't seem strange, but viewing it that way takes practice.

Author's Note: I grew up in Connecticut. I've never been to Union, so any resemblance is a coincidence or a characteristic of the state in general. All characters are made up except for any historical figures that might appear as ghosts or time travelers.

The concept for this project is what I'm calling "open notebook." I will post character sketches, notes, and random doodles as well as actual stories. Things may very well end up contradicting each other but hey, that's Unity for you.

Albums I Have Loved: Savage Garden, Savage Garden

This post is dedicated to my college roommate, who also grew up with this CD. If this is your first time reading this feature (which it is, since this is the first review), here's a brief introduction to my process.

I don't remember my first trip to the record store. I remember other trips, poring over stacks of plastic-wrapped CDs in the glare of overhead lights, but nothing stands out as the first time. Savage Garden's self-titled first album was one of the first CDs I ever owned, but I know this because I owned about six CDs from ages 10 to 14, and half of those I "borrowed" from my dad. Savage Garden was a purchase all my own, though, based on listening to the radio rather than my dad's music collection.

A little backstory first: Savage Garden, the debut album of Australian pop duet Savage Garden (surprisingly enough), came out in 1997. I was a middle schooler with truly unfortunate bangs. Darren Hayes had yet to come out of the closet. It was a different time. Still, when I cued up the album 17 years later, I knew every word. I'll leave it to someone else to decide whether these tracks stand the test of time. The last days of my childhood are in this album, along with the first stumbling steps toward adulthood.

Reading Choreography

Two months ago, I attended my first dance class. I was terrified.

I love to dance. I'm one of those people who can stay on a dance floor until last call sounds. I get really into the simple line dances (think: Cupid Shuffle) I do with my students. My sister is a dancer, so I've enjoyed numerous performances over the years. When I listen to music, I often choreograph dance routines in my head, though I have no technical terminology for the movements I envision. Friends and strangers have complimented me on my dancing.

I still avoided going to a class for literally years.