Friday, February 20, 2015

Honest Winter Fashion

 I love to read fashion blogs. I think knowing how to make yourself look great is an important skill, plus it's fun. But all this "winter" fashion with bare legs and coats left unbuttoned to display beautiful outfits, worn on magically slush-free streets? I had to laugh. Then I had to do a post about the winter "fashion" I've sported in Boston. In case you haven't heard, we got 7 feet of snow in 3 weeks and our public transit system is broken forever.

To review, here's what fashion blogs think represents winter:

What fashion thinks winter is like.
"Tra-la, I hope my earrings don't get caught in my skis once we get to the lodge!"

And here are seven looks inspired by actual winter in good ol' Boston:

Look #1: Wake up and stumble to the bathroom because your room is an icebox.
Look #1: Wake up and stumble to the bathroom because your room is an icebox.
I woke up like this. (Cold. Very cold.)

Look #2: Wear the thickest and most unflattering clothing you own. Wear them in the least flattering way possible because it's just that cold.
Look #2: Wear the thickest and most unflattering clothes you own. Wear them in the least flattering way possible because it's just that cold.
My look of resentment says it all.

Look #3: Why not wear BOTH of the thickest sweaters you own? You are now somewhat hopeful that you will ever feel your fingers again.
Look #3: Why not wear BOTH of the thickest sweaters you own? You are now somewhat hopeful that you will ever feel your fingers again.
Stylin'.

 Look #4: Cook at least two dishes a day to warm up your house. Now you don't have to worry about your sweaters hiding your waistline.
Look #4: Cook at least two dishes a day to warm up your house. Now you don't have to worry about your sweaters hiding your waistline.
Brownies and clementine cake will keep us alive, right? 

Look #5: Bundle up in all of your winter gear. Regret buying a light-colored winter coat because public transit has left grime you can never dry clean away.
Look #5: Bundle up in all of your winter gear. Regret buying a light-colored winter coat because public transit has left grime you can never dry clean away.
Secretly, I regret nothing. PINK COAT!

 Look #6: Give up and sacrifice yourself to the frost giants. The snowdrifts will carry you to the afterlife and the sun will return.
Look #6: Give up and sacrifice yourself to the frost giants. The snowdrifts will carry you to the afterlife and the sun will return.
I'm honestly surprised our grill has made it this far.

Look #7: Wonder why you thought this was a good idea. You're not even getting paid.
Look #7: Wonder why you thought this was a good idea. You're not even getting paid.


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